The day I found out I was, for sure, pregnant, I took the doctor’s call from the ladies room at the Four Seasons spa. My husband and I had booked a codependent couple’s massage, which was followed by some independent hot tub soaking and sauna-ing. We weren’t big spa people, but it was a Valentine’s Day/winter sucks/let’s take a personal day indulgence, and, had it not ended in me panicking about what a horrible mother I already was for exposing my three week old cell cluster to five minutes in a 90-degree pool, it would have been very relaxing.

I spooked myself enough to swear off spa treatments, but then some kind people gave me a gift card for a prenatal massage as a thank you present, and my interest was reignited.

Because this is my first pregnancy and I’m nervous about almost everything, I wanted to find out more about the safety, benefits, and red flags of spa-ing. And because I now write this blog, I had the perfect, non-crazy-sounding excuse to ask some experts to sit down with me and explain a few things. Two lovely women at Hampden’s Charm City Skin, Shannon and Camille, took some time to walk me through the prenatal waxing and massage experience.

First up is waxing. I have shied away from booking an appointment because, frankly, having my hair ripped out with hot wax while also uncomfortably pregnant sounded terrible, but I’ve since changed my tune. Shannon, an esthetician, admits waxing will be slightly more painful due to increased blood volume and sensitivity, but letting a professional handle your hair removal is the safer option. The bigger the bump gets, the harder it becomes to shave. Women are at a higher risk of slipping (I almost bit it in the shower trying to reach my ankle recently) and of cutting themselves. And if the pain is keeping you from tidying things up below the belt, consider a modified wax. There’s no shame in putting a hold on the Brazilian and opting for the bikini for now.

Shannon also stressed the importance of both sanity and sanitation when considering spa treatments during pregnancy. Women tend to see these treatments strictly as an indulgence, but making the time to take care of yourself and your appearance can have a great effect on mood and outlook. She also advises relying on common sense and feeling comfortable speaking up if you have concerns. If you see the esthetician “double dip” the stick, then you should leave. And this doesn’t just apply to pregnant women. Incubating a human shouldn’t be the only reason you feel comfortable advocating for yourself if you see something fishy.

Armed with a degree in Wax Safety 101, I headed upstairs for a prenatal massage with Camille. I feel I should disclose that my chat with her took place after my 70-minute massage, so there’s a chance that she didn’t actually say any of the things I’m about to share. I was a loose, gooey, vaguely human form, capable only of taking sips of lemon water and realizing I’d made my voice match the low lighting. (I believe this liquidity is the standard to which all people should hold their post-massage experience.)

According to my notes, which I appear to have scrawled with my left hand while blindfolded, Camille’s expertise is assisting women through pregnancy, childbirth, and post partum. She’s not only a massage therapist—she’s also a doula who can massage you while you’re in labor. (I recall being blown away by this. In fact, I wrote, “How can this be real?”) Her prenatal massage advice mirrored that of Shannon’s: Use common sense, speak up if you’re uncomfortable with anything, and treat the experience less as an indulgence and more as an investment in sanity.

What interested me most was her post-natal advice. Women spend their pregnancies gearing up for the big event, and, once the baby arrives, they tend to forget about themselves. Obviously, the eight-pound human you just birthed needs as much attention and love as you can give, but moms need to remember to take care of themselves, too. Massage can have incredible benefits for post-partum women. It can help with pain management, reduce swelling, encourage milk production, promote better sleeping patterns, and, obviously, provide overall relaxation. Plus, I have to imagine that getting out of the house for an hour does wonders for your sanity. It won’t be easy, but mamas have to keep their head above water somehow.

Pregnancy spa experiences can be expensive, but are worth consideration as you’re budgeting. My rationalization—other than the benefits for the baby and me—is that I’m re-energizing Baltimore’s economy. The money we used to spend at bars and restaurants has been burning a hole in our savings account, and it’s time we released it back into the wild. And if that means I have to lie in a bed of pillows while someone forces me to relax, so be it.